Practical manual for:
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Good man - a healthy man. Walked, this is inner peace and joy, love and grace. How to become good to be healthy, calm and joyful? Now we will learn this.
The kindness affects not only in the inner state, but also to the outside world. A man with a kind heart attracts people. With such a person, everyone is nice and comfortable. We are all looking for a quiet state of peace and happiness, but often just do not understand this.
How to become kinder
Awareness of individual programs. Each person passes his lessons in this life. Each of us has their own goals and objectives. In addition, the society and the system in each of us are invested different programswhich distort the real perception of this world and most of which are negative.
Suppose someone does not like you. Do you know that this person had to go? If you were in its conditions, upbringing, surroundings, maybe you would be even worse. Sometimes, at first glance, innocuous words of parents, can make a destructive program that will be reflected in the human psyche all life. It should be understood that in each person there are such programs, but the soul of all people is beautiful. It is necessary to learn to communicate with people at the level of the soul, and not at the level of mind, social conventions and programs.
The awareness and understanding of this situation gives relaxation, and relaxation soothes, and you begin to treat other people kindly.
Serving people. Try to start living not for yourself, but for other people. You will see how you start becoming kinder, and together with this you will be very bigger to love people. The whole universe will begin to take care of you.
The more you will serve other people, the more you will receive the inner grace and help the universe.
With the ministry you should have sincerity. Serving through anger will not give anything. Start with loved ones. Show your care for them. Imagine that they are your children. You will see how your relationship will improve, how your life will start changing.
Just begin to take care of your loved ones as children, even if it is your parents. This is a very effective practice to become kinder.
Then begin to take care of others. Imagine that all people are your children, including directors and presidents. Begin to take care of all and your life will be filled with not only kind, but also a feeling of happiness and joy.
In addition, all people will begin to take care of you. Imagine how great when everyone wants you to do something pleasant.
No benefit. If you want to become good to get the benefits, this is a hoax that will make you colder and more. You will start losing the inner grace and joy. At the subconscious level, people feel it, and your relationship will become colder.
Love yourself. Start love yourself with all your shortcomings. If you do not like yourself, you can't love others truly. Where there is no love, there is no kind. Learn to love yourself and take what you have. It is very important.
Practical manual for:
brain Development, Energy Sensitivity, Solving Health Association, Having Skill Work with Energy Love, Removal psychological problems and mastering methods for changing fate.
Change thinking. Constantly watch your thinking. If not very good thoughts or feelings appear, start watching them. How do they arise from. The sooner you capture the moment of the appearance of such thoughts and feelings and learn to watch them, the faster they will leave your life.
Focus on kindness.
When you often focus on kindness, it will start entering your life. Your will begin to correspond, and you will become good man.
Take yourself a rule, to make a good deed every day. The more you will make good deeds, the more your piety will accumulate, and piety directly affects fate. The more piously accumulated, the happier fate.
Show kindness to all, and not just good or needy. Each person has an excellent divine soul, even at the reserved villains. Learn in people to see their soul, and not external set programs that form his thoughts, words and behavior.
This skill will allow you to get out completely to a new level of perception of reality. Learn to show the kindness to all, and not just to those people who want.
Get rid of condemnation. Forever get rid of any condemnation. Do not condemn anyone. Judge not lest ye be judged. Condemnation kills kindness. People are so accustomed to the condemnation of others that they often do not notice this.
Learn to be an optimist. If you knew that it was standing for every unpleasant event, you would never be upset, and on the contrary we would have been waiting for unpleasant events to study situations and strengthen our Spirit.
This is the topic of a separate material, but if briefly, then absolutely all unpleasant events in your life we \u200b\u200battract themselves through our unconsciousness and not the correct deeds.
When an unpleasant situation is coming, there is a chance to understand the cause of the problem and through awareness to fix the situation forever. At the same time, the soul receives valuable experience, and the Spirit acquires more power. With the correct elaboration of an unpleasant event, a person gets additional energy for his life.
If the situation was not worked out, it will meet again and again until it is worked out. The development of each such event gives force and energy. Learn to optimally take everything in your life.
Change the environment
. Human environment globally affects him. Review your environment. Avoid evil and strong smart people. Meet good and pleasant people. You will see as soon as you change your surroundings, you will become a more kind person.
Good to you and light into your life!
Anton Stovkov
Reading time: 3 minutes
A.
Human life is overflowing with a negative. Poor so much that sometimes breathe hard. And although people lack tenderness and kindness, few of them think about how to become kinder and calmer.
It is difficult to imagine how often you have to condemn people, angry and swear. At the same time, for each individual case, justification is provided. People consider reaction justified. Defending the position, they hide the negative.
It is better to help people who surround us. How nice to walk through the streets of the city, rejoice in a new day and enjoy the singing of birds. And what a pleasure bring the rays of the affectionate sun.
If you ended up on this page, you realized that you want to become kinder and strive to make the right step towards happiness and joy. I assure you, tips and psychology will help.
Some believe that it is unrealistic to become a kind person. The share of truth in the statement is. But, do not forget that in a person, regardless of the physique, age and social position there are branches of kindness.
I will tell you how to become patient, attentive, affectionate and good person. With the help of recommendations and step-by-step instructions You change your life that will be better.
- Help people with advice and affairs. If a stranger helped, express your gratitude. Believe me, it will be nice to hear "Thank you."
- Do not judge around people. Even if you want to crift someone, try to make it softer.
- You treat everything with understanding and avoid conflicts. Not everyone understands everyone, and not everyone will understand you. The waste of energy and time for useless quarrels is meaningless.
- Make compliments. As for the errors and shortcomings, do not notice them. Concentrate on positive features.
Video instructions
Do not forget that kindness is a whole concept. If you are kinder, the whole world will become kinder to you. And living in such a situation is easier and more pleasant than in the atmosphere of tension and stress.
Becoming kinder to people
If a person refers to people who surrounds, it is easier for him and happier living in the world, and people treat in the same way.
In the world, everything is closely connected. Nested kindness sooner or later returns, having increased repeatedly. Therefore, everyone should be knowledge of how to become kind to people.
Life without good boring and dull. It is accompanied by stress and negative. In such conditions it is impossible to find a guy or build relationships with a girl. Therefore, if there is a lot of negative in life and you do not want to live life alone, proceed to action.
- If you think that everything you have got lost yourself, are mistaken. Believe me, other people participate in the construction of success, although their contribution is immeasured. Thank people who help.
- Gratitude Express verbal. In the hearts of friends who will hear from you "Thank you", warm feelings will appear. If there are not enough courage, express your gratitude to myself.
- In people who surround, look for only the advantages. Everyone has shortcomings, but this does not mean that he is unworthy of love.
- Strive to be patient and understanding personality. Everyone has a glance at the world, concept, system of values. If a person is unlike you, treat him with interest, because every meeting is a reason to add, expand or change.
- In no case conflict. In a certain situation, you can shove and prove the opinion in every way, but it is useless. Remember, life in place is not worth it and instead of quarrels it is better to create bright and good things.
- Every day do good deeds: help your grandmothers move the road, express my love mom, get a friend a gift for February 23 or help dad in the garage. Giving warmth peace, get it back to more.
- Be kinder to yourself. Because of how you treat your personality, the attitude of people to you depends. Only the inner world together with harmony provides a peaceful and harmonious life.
Video advice
Work on yourself will improve life, fill with paints and sensations. Act and people will become kind to you.
Becoming kinder to the guy
What could be better than strong and happy relationships? However, there are cases when a man ceases to arrange a woman. He is very annoying. Sometimes there is a sufficiently small blister, like a man flies verbal dirt or kitchen utensils. The little things, because of which quarrel, play the last role in life. Each himself cultivates the attitude of people to themselves.
After reading the material, you will receive a tactical advantage that will solve the problem. Additionally, relax and take a look at a different angle.
- Thank the fate that you have a boyfriend. Remember how many times he helped and supported. If you strive to get married, do not forget about it.
- Do not hesitate to tell the guy's words of gratitude. If he helped in the kitchen or did something nice, say thanks. For you, this is a trifling case, and it will be nice. Words will demonstrate that you appreciate the relationship.
- Try to judge the guy. Undoubtedly, judge the misconduct and habits are interesting and exciting. But, do not advise this. Surely you did not want to be accepted in the same way.
- Criticism directed toward the guy, carefully "filter". If necessary, tell me or specify an error. Do not become kindern, pursuing the goal to offend the guy and hurt his pride.
- We treat all things with understanding even when something does not correspond to your opinion. Better if you understand the guy and enter his position. As for conflicts, they will not bring pleasure and leave deep wounds in the shower.
- Do not skimp on compliments. Believe me, every man, as a woman is pleased to hear warm words in your address. Although, representatives of strong sex are not always shown. Therefore, do not dismount to his fashionable hairstyle, clothes and things.
- Remember, the result will appear if you are kindly to yourself. Do not register yourself for misses and failures. Move forward.
I hope the recommendations will help make relationships with your beloved person strong and happy. Become kinder at home is easy. Only a desire is needed. And do not forget to make good deeds daily, even if small.
Only a good act is coloning a person. How to develop, decide for yourself. Do not deceive yourself and build fate on your own. And what it will succeed, define actions and attitudes towards a loved one.
How to become kinder if you scorpion
Each person who appeared under the sign of Scorpio, repeatedly thought about how to become kinder. To achieve the goal Scorpio need to work hard. At the same time, the struggle is to lead with character traits laid by nature. And win the battle is not easy.
As practice shows, scorpions are not evil. They are characterized by a cold mind, an insightful look and lack of secrets. I note that Scorpio is a confident personality, which is well known what I want. And she achieves it.
More importantly, the reaction of a third-party observer for positioning. He considers such a point of arrogance and cruel. But, the most unpleasant feature of the scorpion is straight. It often leads to conflicts and disagreements.
If you were born under this sign, familiarize yourself with the technique of becoming kinder at home. Otherwise, find yourself in a situation where your favorite person, with whom we wanted to build a good relationship, will be cleaned with tears in the eyes.
- Exercise the right actions. Only in this case the surrounding will understand you.
- The world of scorpion is comfortable and laconic, but for others it is strange because it is closed. Share ideas and experiences with friends and native people.
- Scorpio is a kind, fair and confident person whose deeds are aimed at the benefit of loved ones. True, scorpions often forget to make their environment understand. And this is not good.
- People prefer the warmth of the soul, and not material evidence of friendship and affection. Taking into account the fact that the strange behavior of the Scorpio is combined with the directness and sample, it becomes clear why many are advised to become kinder.
- Relieve self-analysis. Others do not have such confidence and communicate with an endowed force by a person they are not easy. Scorpions repel people with directness and courage. Over it work.
- Analyz the thoughts and actions, because the powerful force is accompanied by responsibility. Remember that a strong person is obliged to protect the weak.
Scorpions are ready to reward enemies at any time with their poison. As for other people, evil they do not want.
Each scorpion in the soul is a kind person, but is unable to show. To achieve the effect requires a drip of self-control.
Kindness makes the world harmonious. But do not forget that the absolute kindness without the opposite does not lead to good. Strive for balance.
Even in bad things there is good. Good and evil - components that support equilibrium. And happily live people who found a golden middle.
Each good person performs a function that supports the existence of society. At the same time, his desire does not play the role. Doing good, a person helps someone. In harmony conditions it is impossible. Thanks to this, people strive for ideals that remain in dissentia.
In order to fill this site only useful and interesting information for you, I analyze people's requests on the Internet.
So, someone is interested in how to make a lot of money, someone is looking for beauty recipes and success, someone needs to build a dizzying career or, but few are trying to find ways, how to become kinder.
But, in my opinion, kindness needs our world, more than ever.
This is what does not come out of fashion and what they value others in you, the fact that you yourself appreciate in yourself, even if you do not confess this.
I'm not saying that everyone should turn into Mother Teresu and forget about the material benefits, but also not worth becoming an insensible cruel iron.
Why should you strive to become kinder?
On one of the forums, I once saw the topic "But why should I become kinder if I am comfortable to be evil?".
The discussion took pages 10.
Some put forward the arguments of the Topicaster.
Like, here I am also not good dangling and nothing, I successfully moved to my career staircase.
Yes, this kindness is only ruined, you begin to think about what is good, and that badly, and now failed a favorable contract.
In short, all this shoes!
Be evil and unprincipled - cool.
Their opponents in question:
"Well, how so, we are people. We must bear good to this world. It is impossible to measure money. If we are not good to each other, we will turn into real animals. And in general, all who are angry and cruel will burn in hell. "
To be honest, I really wanted to intervene in the discussion and advise the accomplices of evil yet to search for recipes, how to become kinderbecause there is at least 5 reasons:
- Good people are loved by surrounding, so they are not threatened with loneliness.
- The goodness is very rarely and nervous disruptions, and the failures falling on their share are much easier.
- Prechaits do not suffer from low or overpriced self-esteem, because they have no need to do self-confidence, and they are easily straighted with complexes, because they are surrounded by loving people.
Good people get the desired in a shorter time than evil, and accompanying efforts.
The universe, as it were, wants to reward them for a positive attitude and for carrying good to this world.
Even in fairy tales, good always wins evil.
You do not want to be in the role of the defeated blasphemy of the Immortal or Baba Yaga?
What should you get rid of those who want to become kinder?
Of course, it is much easier for those who have already been born a kind and sympathetic person.They do not need to strain.
Become so positive and kind, like the one who received these qualities from birth is quite difficult, but it is a little better that you stop hateing everything around, if you make a little effort.
Before switching to a new level, you need to get rid of the ballast unnecessary to you, that is, from the qualities that are peculiar to evil people and are unusual for good:
No need to envy those who have more than you, it is better to spend this energy to achieve the level of successful people.
Ungratefulness.
I am talking now and about your ingratitude to parents:
"Why was I not born in the family of oligarchs?!", And - with his second half: "And what, I will walk in the old martial fur coat for the third year? Could not earn a new, reptile?! ", And - friends:" This fool calls again to the next unsuccessful novel Complain ", and - all over the world:" I want to be a temold sea! ".
Learn to be grateful for having, but strive for more. Work on yourself, but do not require something from others!
Gloating:
"Hooray! This goat from the accounting of the wallet is in the minibus. So she needs, otherwise the eyes of the Caraite in his new sheep! ".
Passion to gossip.
If you like to discuss others (even if without evil intent), then the Dobryakov Club will not be accurate.
It is worth someone by chance to step on the foot in the minibus, and you immediately rush to it with fists?
Well, why waste simply your energy? Even if you got a ham, who did not apologize, should not teach it good manners.
Just ignore the unfortunate person.
Cruelty.
Well, here, in my opinion, in general, no comments are needed.
People who are offended by other people or animals that make nasty deliberately, just sick!
Greed.
Of course, you do not need to dilute the money to the right and left, but if you are a pity 10-20 hryvnia for homeless animals or sick children, then you have very strange concepts about kindness.
How to become kinder - stick to these rules
If you stop envied to your successful competitors, run away from gossips, as from the plague, you wake up with gratitude every day, sympathize, and do not gloat when someone had trouble, they have been charity, and you never had the inconsistencies to cruelty , It's time to go to a new level.Here are some simple rules that you should stick if you want to become kinder:
Learn to make deserved compliments.
Will your colleague come to work in a beautiful dress? So tell her about it.
Neighbo is very new haircut? Do not silent about this fact.
Do good deeds without requiring nothing in return.
Try to fulfill the requests of others, if you are able to do it, but do not let yourself get on your neck, otherwise you will not see the goodness, but a rag.
Respect someone else's opinion.
If we are not talking about some fundamental issues, then just tactfully complete the conversation and find more interesting interlocutor for yourself.
Believe understanding to harmless human oddities.
Your neighbor painted the hair into a green color, and the work colleague plays in a modern amateur theater, where do they issue people's nightmare staging on the court?
Stop outrage about this, because it does not hurt you in any way.
Learn to enjoy life.
Bad weather, small salary, torn along the road to work tights, Black soup, runny nose - these are all frivolous reasons to walk gloomy, whining and complaining to everyone around.
Smile and do not worry because of small trouble.
Do good, choose good, follow the example of good people,
the story of which will go in the next video:
Become kinder It's not so difficult, especially if you decide to break the evil and darkness forever with the world.
Go more like a light side.
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It is not necessary to finish the university at all to learn kindness - study and implement these 9 rules how to become a good person, and you just do not recognize yourself.
1. The fundamental rules in the case, how to become a good man, there is a skill to be grateful to all and everything for what you already have. Too often, what we have, we perceive as a measure of both granted. And at the same time we are constantly grieving about what we do not have. Try to evaluate what you already have and imagine that someone has no it.
2. If possible, Thank! Especially if the words of gratitude just rush from your chest. Take yourself for the habit of talking a simple "thank you" always, where appropriate. So you will automatically learn to be grateful and be able to become a good person.
3. Impossible become a kind personIf you are constantly discussing someone. Especially in disrespectful tones. Imagine that someone allows himself such behavior to your account. Do you like it? Surely no. Therefore, try to give an assessment to anyone there is only when it is really appropriate.
4. Watch yourself when you criticize someone. Of course, it is sometimes important to say some fair remark, but do not overdo it. Become a kind person Perhaps when the criticism is aimed at specifying errors to man. Then you give him the opportunity to realize them and correct. If you are trying to humiliate it, reduce its achievements or quality - you will not be able to become a kind person.
5. Try at least a little, but understand each of those around you, no matter how bad he did not learn. Everyone has its own opinion on certain things, and it is not at all that it will coincide with yours. Take advantage of this with understanding and patience. This will increase your communication qualities, the outlook. Do not limit yourself with one's own opinion.
6. Give people compliments, with as often as possible. Find something like that you really like. Try to distract your attention from what annoys you in a person. It is enough to simply note a good hairstyle, good makeup, excellent pants - and the person will already be joyful in the soul. Sometimes it inspires people to great feats.
7. Strive to make more good deeds. At every step, even in trifles. Skip pedestrian even where it should not cross, raise someone fallen a thing, yielding a place in transport - all this makes you kinder even by internal sensations. And already if you hear in response to the words of gratitude - this joy will not replace.
8. Do not get involved in, try to avoid them. But leave the feeling that you can stand up for yourself. The most important thing is not to spend your inner energy on unnecessary squabbles. It is better to send it to the necessary and, again, good deeds. If you see that you still do not understand and are unlikely to understand, accept it as a given and go on. As soon as you accept this decision, you will feel how much it lives you.
9. And most importantly, do not forget to show the kindness of your loved one! It is impossible to be kind, if you are not able to show kindness towards yourself. First of all, you must love yourself, and only feeling it, people will also begin to take response to you.
Here they are, simple 9 rules how to become a good man.
It turns out that bad types lose not only in Disney cartoons. In reality, they are also completely and the palm of evolutionary and social championship is inferior to noble prechain.
Guy Seregin
The idea of \u200b\u200bbeing kind is somehow stupid, in the end he visits each of us. It does not matter if we observe at this point how others are happy to eat our candies, or learn to make a respectful face when meeting with a colleague, who has been given once an important project, because his wife's flatfoot did not prevent her from him to leave. Previously, or later, the adult world will break out of your teddy cheburashka's hands and will show the harsh truth that actually happens with good and trustful creatures that came to us in the box with oranges. This is the law of the jungle, isn't it? The strongest wins?
And here is a nonruptichushki, the choir of ethologists and sociologists is responsible. The laws of the jungle - the thing is far from so unequivocal. If the strongest and angry really defeated, then our nature would look a little otherwise: any raspberry would have acquired two-meter testers, tenhothy hamsters would have stuffed grinding bags of enemies corpses, and the system of target bombing would be mounted in butterflies. But the principles of evolutionary mechanics work not on the struggle of everyone against everyone, but on balance.
Pigeons and hawks
There is a classic model for calculating the competitiveness of animals within a single type. She received not quite the correct name "Pigeons and Hawks". Incorption is that the pigeon is extremely poorly fits on the role of a symbol of peace-loving: in fact, this is a rather evil poultry device, aggression to representatives of its type in it is greater than in the same hawk. This model calculates the winning strategy in the fight for food, female or territory - in short, for some important resource for survival. The pigeon in this model prefers not to enter into a real brawl, evading the fight and flying from the battlefield when meeting with a truly aggressive opponent. The hawk, on the contrary, is thrown to defend his rights with Azart predator and retreats, only having received serious wounds, or dies. (A common idea is that only a person is able to kill himself like, was invented by citizens who, except Canary, have not seen a single animal in his life, but even for that they did not bother more closely.)
Further, the model provides a mathematical calculation of how the composition of the hawks and pigeons in the population will fluctuate. It is clear that one hawk among the pigeons will feel excellent, but as soon as the hawks are becoming too much, there is a triumph of a dove, which, avoiding the fight, has time to multiply the carcasses of the hawks that have been cooled around.
Oddly enough, but in human society, which, it would seem, it works so hard that simple schemes are not separated here, the principle of the model as a whole will remain. This confirms the well-known sociologists the effect of "sheep among wolves". For example, in the company with an aggressive style of work, the most peace-loving, the most non-conflict citizens turn out to be the most peaceful, because those who minted themselves right in the sun with their teeth and claws, caused each other too much reputational wounds and image damages during Fight.
This, by the way, is explained and amazing, it would seem that the "phenomenon of weak rulers". Throughout history, it is not difficult for the throne or in the presidential chair, completely empty-eyed nothing, the only real advantage of which was that it was more or less satisfied with all the opposing parties and did not carry threats to any of the warring clans. (Most of all, the Japanese also distinguished themselves in which the emperors and seguns were almost exclusively infants and very small children.)
So, choosing a strategy of your behavior, be it a career, political or any other field, it is worth weighing all the risks. If we assume that we have no idea who is around more, good pigeons or predatory hawks, then we have the same chances of success regardless of the selected role. But at the same time, the pigeon does not even risk losing feathers in the tail.
Softness efficiency
Yes, the aggressors can achieve considerable heights in society, but still in general the device of our society and simple logic more likely contribute to the success of people of non-conflict and good-natured. At least, they often save their strength, time and nerves and achieve success with lower costs than those who go to life every day.
"Pergroup on the way"
A neighbor Parks the car so that you have to deviate slightly from the route to enter the entrance.
Strategy of aggression
Stone on the frontal and paint the sides of this trough by an aerosol can, so that the next time, the bastard, I thought about people!
Positive results
+ Deserved karaia villain, you splashing accumulated aggression.
+ The car no longer leaves in an uncomfortable place for you.
Negative results
- A neighbor you wave even more, as you will subconsciously feel your guilt in front of him.
- A neighbor will be looking for someone who did it. And then, perhaps beat.
- Police will search for someone who did it. And then - the court.
- Your own car is overshadowed in the same way, because you have now accepted in your yard.
Profitability of aggression: minus
Bestovaishia strategy
Do not mention it. This is just a couple of extra steps, which, by the way, never interfere with our sedentary lifestyle. (But the transport is so that in fact seriously prevents the passage of other cars or delivers significant inconvenience to pedestrians, it is better to leave under the janitor a friendly note with apologies and a request to be parked in a less problematic place).
Positive results
+ You retain peaceful relationships with neighbors.
Negative results
- You make some extra steps at the entrance to the house.
Profitability of goodness: zero
beauty is in the eye of the beholder
The person, however, is not a bird, but the creature is much more socially dependent and emotionally developed. The word "happiness" is far from always being synonymous with the words "wealth" and "success" (although the latter are capable of contributing to the first - which is, that is). And if the success of "Dobryakov" and "Zlodeyev" is about the same, especially at a long distance, then in terms of psychological comfort, have a good mood And the life of the life of the goodness is furnished by villains on many buildings.
The Rodonarchist of the psychological prose Jane Austin in the novel "Pride and Prejudice" brings two characters: one is experiencing a hot sympathy for others and thinks about people much better than they deserve; The other is too smart in order not to notice the shortcomings in your closeness, and too demanding that these shortcomings forgive. "I never understand why you are always unhappy," smiling, says the first. "And I will never understand why you come to such an indescribable delight," the second answer gloomily.
The result is natural: the first hero is surrounded by loving, caring and domestic people, he falls in love with the best girl in the world, and the sun gently strokes him with his rays. But the second sincerely tolerant can not tolerate all others, he is forced to hold his days surrounded by those who calls fools and a scoundrel, and even the woman he loved, he holds him for a very long time, in a whole decent man, for the first bastard and does not even consider I need to hide your attitude.
The ability to fit does not see the vices of loved ones - this is actually guaranteed happiness. Especially if it is complemented by the talent sincerely rejoice at others - talent, alas, rare.
Softness efficiency
"Bad waiter"
The menu carried you 24 minutes and handed it with such a kind, as if you did not eat here, but the alms ask. After that, they confused the order and filed a basin of fried radishes instead of your legitimate bifhtex. Well, for the completeness of the picture Let this idiot knock on you the kettle.
Strategy of aggression
When you are so in the penny they do not put and so wash over your nerves for your money, you have a complete right to arrange a scandal. Even loud! Even with the challenge of the manager! Specify to all those present on their insignificant place in life with the very flowering expressions!
Positive results
+ You seem to win.
+ Maybe you will bring fidelines at the expense of the institution.
Negative results
Wet clothes.
- Energy spent on all these actions.
- Your spoiled mood.
- You can cross out the restaurant from the list of visited, because you never need to go to where you offended waiters: There is always a risk that the recipe for your dishes will be somewhat different from the standard (by the way, it also applies to the bifhtex now in battle).
- This scene could see your friends who immediately concluded about your irrepressible scandaling. Even more cooler, if someone from visitors decides to slowly fall out all this and put it on "Yutiub" with the tag "Psycho in a restaurant".
- Not excluded also side effects In the form of light enclosures of conscience, hinting to you, which was not so great was the fault of the waiter to arrange the deductions from his modest salary.
Profitability of aggression: minus
Bestovaishia strategy
Asking to replace the dish, wait out loud that, alas, I could not lie to love the useful, having riding Redish vitamins. With a fun smile to shake the tea, saying: "Nothing terrible, do not worry, please."
Positive results
+ The unpleasant scene immediately turns into fun.
+ Similarly, the battlefields can bring.
Negative results
Wet clothes.
Profitability of goodness: zero, sometimes plus
What is allowed to bull, not allowed Jupiter
When the English king Edward VIII has started a serious romantic relationship with Mrs. Wallis (this novel, by the way, is shown in the column of all "Oscars" of the season "King says"), the whole British felt in deep fainting. Twice divorced American without any aristocratic ancestors, who had been openly having lovers and sympathetic to the German Nazis, in itself, should be understood, was not a gift of heaven, but not even this. The living room went a quiet conversation that Mrs. Wallis was so vulgar, fiercely raised and ungoltably, which allows himself to "shout on a servant in the most ... Well, you understand ... unlocking expressions." Insulting a person dependent on you, which is below you on a public staircase, was completely unacceptable for a good society. Edward eventually had to renounce the throne in favor of the younger brother, but his spouse was still neuropean in Europe, so Edward accepted the offer to go with her Bahamas, where, however, the Hams of the Duchess also became the arrival in the towns.
The thing is that people who are accustomed to comfort usually crave so that this comfort also spreads to their mental state. And in any sustainable society with the current structure, for whatever parallels it lived, people who could afford a lot of themselves introduced uniform rules for communicating with each other. Courtesy, fasciance, tact, delicacy, welcomes have always been markers of representatives higher layers societies. Where the kitchen could squeeze, the countess had the right only to pale a little; Where having sneaked and climbed into the fight, the gentleman asked for forgiveness.
Children from aristocratic families were brought up in a tight norm: you must be noble, you should be kind, you should always behave so that others in your society are easy and pleasant. And rigidity, meanness, dishonestness if not exterminated at all, then at least considered vices closing the way to decent houses. (Today's directors - natives democratic countries - There may be many movies about lords, which throw boots in the butler, but they reflect much more their own ethical state than historical reality.)
The pleasure of communication with a kind and amiable person has always been appreciated high, and the natural consequence of this was that such a person has more friends, comrades and defenders than a person sincerely spitting on the opinions and desires of others.
* - Note Phuchochoerus "A pounding: « Alas, to understand this truth, many of us come too late when it is already hard to change something to change in yourself ».
Price of good reputation
However, the willingness to create a good - far from such a primitive social tool so that they can be used without regard to the consequences.
Although the author swore himself that he would not overload this article by scientific terms, but one he would still fit here. This is the term "indirect reciprocity" introduced by the Biologist Richard Alexander in his work "Biology of moral systems". The term means a behavioral feature characteristic of many types of stinking creatures, primarily birds and people. Its essence lies in the fact that these species have altruistic actions increase the reputation of individuals inside the population. Roughly speaking, who feeds everyone, licks and guards, the most important thing, all females are flying from him and falling on mating. As a result, the species with indirect reciprocality appeared a charming feature: the males with high rank jealously monitor the low-edge males and come into rage, when they try to show altruism to their young, females or, God for themselves. And the attempt is carefully shoved to shove the grasshopper in the beak, the main male may end with a serious loyalty for the male of the young, because it is necessary to figure out, to whom with their good deeds.
People even in the most populized society are also not free from the laws of indirect reciprocity. That is why your answer is good deed, Maybe even the perfect of the best motives, may be the insulsion of whom you humiliated with the helping. (Therefore, in the world, the system of indirect charity committed through various funds. The philanthropist, sacrificing the funds there, enjoys well-deserved respect in society, but no one degrades the address.)
Softness efficiency
"Circle one freaks"
Having come to the evening to the acquaintance, you soon made sure that the company gathered rather unpleasant. These unfamiliar people do not have any interest or sympathy for you, and you, in turn, miss their boring society. Unfortunately, for some reason, you can not immediately leave, and forced to spend some exhaust watches here.
Strategy of aggression
Blank in yourself, trying not to communicate with any seconds over the necessary. Attempts to tie a conversation with you to be answered with bass and tapping. Do not forget to tell a friend that only the collectors of Kunstkamen Dikov can collect such a party.
Positive results
No.
Negative results
- You spend the most disgusting evening in your life.
- Some people from the former at this evening made up of you a predical opinion, and it is not at all that you will never meet anymore with them.
- Familiar who were invited to you there, also not in ecstasy from how you led yourself.
Profitability of aggression: minus
Bestovaishia strategy
With readiness to repelly with all those present, take part in the conversations, without anyone seriously arguing. With an obvious misappropriance of your views with the views of the interlocutor, less and listen to the more, trying to demonstrate spinning attention. And do not be embarrassed to smile to smile, whatever heresy at this moment you have to listen to.
Positive results
+ It was a wonderful training for a person who learns to be indulgent to others.
+ With a closer communication there is a chance to find out that not all there are such idiots.
The justification of aggression in the event of a threat of life (his own, the life of the offspring or life of the group) does not make sense: this is one of the primary instincts, sold in us so deep that we often do the actions of such a plan almost in infamous.
Much more interesting than the aggressive actions made by us at the moment when we fully control our emotions. Etologists, for example A. Zakhavi and K. Lorenz, determined that there is a kind of aggression, which is perceived as certainly a good act not only by the aggressor, but also by the majority of individuals in the population.
This is an aggression in the name of justice, the so-called "expensive punishment", that is, requiring energy costs, often unsafe effects aimed at shifting a person who has overwhelmed existing behavioral norms. For example, a seagull who has found food and taking it silently, without calling the cries of his faces, they will punish those who will detect her for this inappropriate occupation. First, the pack will not so much to pull out food from each other, how much to chase the sole, teaching it a good manner. (At the same time, the abduction of food at one of the neighbors is not a behavior dangerous for the entire community, so that the fight that has arisen will not interest the rest of the dinner participants.) The person, as the creatures of the super-society, the instinct of "expensive punishment" is extremely strong. One of the first ethical principles digestible with young children is opposed to "honestly dishonest" and "fairly - unfair." Ethologists, for example, are extremely recommended to the compilers of school textbooks more often include in them the tasks in which it is required to know how much water is poured into the pool, and how many mushrooms stole the hedgehog from a squirrel or who of children is lying, and who speaks the truth. Such tasks of students decide not as an example more and with great interest.
A strong person can easily forgive the act who caused damage to him personally, but the behavior that has a public danger, we instinctively strive to shiver. And the most peaceful person, who called the bastard with a bastard or who shot a rapist, grabbed the child, is perceived by us not as an aggressor, but as an unconditional carrier of good.
Another thing is that public standards are now a great set that the same act may be regarded by different people and as meanness, and as a nobility. We do not have a unified unconditional value system and can not be, even if you collect all the Criminal Code and the moral codes of the world in one prejectedly weighty volume. So each of us has to acquire your own Code of honor and to check their good actions on it.