Masturbation. Or: What is child masturbation and how to deal with it

Conversations with a psychologist

Masturbation in a small child. What to do?

Your baby is growing up, and then one day you notice that your son or daughter is touching his genitals. What is this? Natural childhood curiosity or a pathological habit - masturbation (masturbation)?

If a child is easily distracted from looking at and feeling his body parts, openly asks questions (for example, about the structure of the body, the difference between a man and a woman, between a girl and a woman), his behavior and normal sleep are not disturbed, then this is a natural step in development psyche, knowledge of the surrounding world and oneself. A surge of such interest occurs between the ages of 3 and 6 years, then subsides until adolescence. In this situation, it is enough for parents to behave tactfully, not to shame for natural curiosity, and to answer children's questions.

But if such child behavior is normal and even looking at children of the opposite sex is considered completely acceptable, what then is considered masturbation? When does the norm turn into pathology?

Let's start with the fact that at 2-3 years old the baby still does not understand what masturbation is, does not know that touching himself and others in some places is considered indecent, so at this age it is necessary to say what does masturbation lead to?! (masturbation) early. Masturbation is a way of self-satisfaction, when a child brings himself to emotional release (before bed, hiding in a secluded place) and does it regularly, then we can talk about a pathological habit.

In an open form, noticeable to adults, this habit occurs in 5% of boys and 3% of girls. preschool age(according to A.I. Zakharov).

Prerequisites for the occurrence of masturbation

Physiological.

How to help a child?

First of all, find out the reason for the habit (see above).

Do not shame, punish, or scold under any circumstances.

You don’t even have to talk to your child about this topic, but you can radically change your educational methods and your relationship with your child.

Give your child more freedom and the opportunity to act independently.

Praise often.

The atmosphere in the family should be calm and friendly.

If a child wants to run or jump, do not hold him back, but, on the contrary, provide physical activity(outdoor walks, sports or dance section).

Communicate more often on neutral topics, avoiding lectures and lectures.

Treat prickly heat, diathesis, helminthic diseases in a timely manner; urological and gynecological diseases.

Clothes should be clean, loose, and not chafing.

Do not frighten your child with the terrible consequences of his “dirty” actions! This will lead to the emergence of an inferiority complex, which in the future will result in problems with understanding one’s body, problems with sex in adulthood.

Do not humiliate the child by questioning, examining, or discussing this topic in front of strangers.

Review your diet (less sweet, spicy, salty).

Seek help from a neurologist and psychologist, they will help you find the cause and develop a set of measures.

Remember!

Masturbation is a way to relieve nervous tension. If you cope with the tension, masturbation will “go away.”

Love your child! Most often, masturbation affects children in orphanages, who are not needed by anyone, are not loved by anyone, and do not have the opportunity to express themselves. Draw a conclusion!!! There are things that, although awkward, are necessary to talk about. For example, child masturbation . Many parents are left alone with this supposedly shameful problem of their child and begin to fight this phenomenon as best they can. They make mistakes along the way, and the masturbation only gets worse. Others study books and articles on the topic and search helpful advice

. What to do?

Masturbation or exploring your body?

The boy's diaper was being changed, and at that moment he pulled his penis. Is this considered masturbation? Children become acquainted not only with the world around them, but also with their own bodies. But if from early infancy interest in all “decent” parts of the body is encouraged and the baby is asked to show again and again where his eyes and ears are, then any interest in the genitals causes concern for parents. Meanwhile, the baby is just as interested in them as, for example, arms and legs. And yet there is a difference. The genitals are permeated with a rich network of nerve endings and have increased sensitivity, and touching them is usually pleasant. Children can become familiar with these sensations both by studying themselves and later taking an example from their peers, or completely by accident. For example, with constipation, due to tension, blood flows not only to the anus, but also to the genitals. Tight, tight clothing and thermal underwear can have the same effect. Excessively thorough hygiene procedures can cause pleasant sensations.

Childhood masturbation is more common in boys due to the structure of their genitals, but this phenomenon also occurs in girls.

Masturbation and sexuality Many parents worry because they associate attention to the genitals with sexuality. They paint pictures of early sexual intercourse and, if pregnant, as well as an antisocial lifestyle, sexual deviations. There is no need to panic. Childhood masturbation is a very common phenomenon. But the reason for the early sexual relations or the development of deviations is extremely rare. Usually these phenomena have completely different reasons, which relate to the problems of the child’s social adaptation. Especially if child masturbation occurred between the ages of 3 and 5 years. Pleasant bodily sensations are not yet associated with attraction to the opposite sex, so this habit is almost similar to thumb sucking, heel scratching and other stimulation of sensitive places on the body.

Masturbation and neurosis

First, you need to try to distract the child. If he is easily distracted from this process, there is no need to sound the alarm. Another thing is that if it is difficult to distract a child and masturbation consumes him greatly, we may be talking about neurosis. Changes in the child’s behavior and condition should also alert you. If he begins to sleep worse, is more capricious, cries, suffers from fears, becomes nervous and aggressive, he has problems. You can contact a neurologist. In addition, most often children engage in masturbation secretly, but sometimes it happens that a child does it in public. This suggests that either he cannot control himself, or he deliberately provokes adults into a negative reaction. Both of these indicate that the child is feeling unwell. In the first case, masturbation can be a symptom of neurosis and considered an obsessive action. In the second, the child has a clear problem in relationships with others, primarily parents. It is known that children who lack attention are ready to get it at any cost. For example, screaming, swearing and even corporal punishment are better for them than indifference. Therefore, when usually they are simply not noticed, they themselves provoke aggression.

How to react

First of all, react calmly. As you understand, nothing criminal is happening before your eyes. And if we are talking about neurosis, then child masturbation is not a cause, but a consequence. You need to distract the child, but you shouldn’t show your horror or anger. In general, this habit should deserve as little attention as possible. Let the child not think that he is doing something special and terrible. Children who tend to provoke adults will only be called out for criticism. Quieter and fearful children will begin to consider themselves bad, and their self-esteem will drop. A person can take from childhood an attitude towards sex, sexuality as something dirty, shameful and then have problems in relationships, and not accept their genitals as part of themselves. All these problems can be combined in one child, and they are not always clearly visible.

It is important to create a calm environment. There should be no verbal, much less physical, aggression. Think about what might be causing your child stress. After all, very often children calm themselves down in this way. You can try keeping a diary and then analyze what events happened on the day when the child masturbated. Was the routine disrupted, was the baby too overloaded, or, conversely, was he exhausted from boredom? This will help to adjust the child’s lifestyle: in one case, reduce the load, in another, on the contrary, increase it.

Masturbation and itching

One of the reasons for child masturbation may be irritation in the genital area. The child experiences itching and begins to scratch the perineum. This process gives him pleasure, and he begins to call it again and again. Itching can be caused by uncomfortable clothing, but it can also be caused by certain diseases. In case of childhood masturbation, children are usually tested for worms and inflammation. In addition, irritation may be caused food allergies, so some doctors in this case advise limiting particularly allergenic foods, such as citrus fruits and chocolate. Sometimes overfeeding a child can cause such a reaction, but in this case the reason is psychological - when food stops giving pleasure, the baby looks for another source of pleasure.

Treatment of masturbation in children

Sometimes doctors prescribe drug treatment with childhood masturbation, but most often it is enough to normalize the psychological situation and regime. In the presence of neurosis or diseases such as worms, inflammatory processes or allergies, the disease itself is subject to treatment. In the meantime, it is important to tidy up the child’s diet and not overfeed him.

Try to devote more time to him, since the habit is often formed from a lack of affection and attention. He should spend more time outdoors and communicate with friends more often.

Very often, many parents literally immediately “grab their heads” when they catch their child performing any kind of manipulation with the genitals. But is this always a sign of a child’s predisposition to infantile masturbation? Of course not. If we speak intelligently, correctly and briefly, then masturbation is a conscious action (any manipulation) with the genitals aimed at obtaining pleasure. Naturally, having caught a baby doing such an activity, there can be no talk of any kind of child masturbation. This is a normal manifestation of interest in your body and its structure. If the actions are purposeful, if the child really engages in masturbation and you have no doubt about it, then you need to approach the situation correctly and, what is very important, not provoke psychological trauma. All actions should be aimed at preserving the natural, normal relationship of our treasure to its body, as well as ensuring its sexuality in the future.

Common causes of child masturbation and rules of behavior for parents

First of all, it is important to correctly determine the reasons why the child began to engage in masturbation. They can be varied and individual, but there are several main ones that are primary sources:

Ways to get rid of a bad habit

Many sexologists do not see anything bad or catastrophic in masturbation, but it is a harmful habit, and it can provoke obsessive behavior and subsequently get completely out of control. It is necessary to fight it, but carefully, gradually and as calmly as possible.

You will find more materials on and with it in the sections of our parents club of the same name by following the appropriate links.

Childhood masturbation: causes and methods of relief was last modified: July 22, 2015 by Koskin

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Health and hygiene issues are inextricably linked with the occurrence of bad habits in children. Such examples include masturbation in children. Masturbation - artificial irritation of the genital organs - is especially harmful due to harmful influence on the development of the child’s body, on his condition nervous system. Such children are usually pale, with blue circles under their eyes, and sometimes with a slightly puffy face. The eyes lose their shine, the child hides them, there is no direct, open look. These children are lethargic, get tired quickly, are not interested in games or peers, and avoid the team and children's society. Long-term masturbation leads to mental retardation, dulling of memory, a sharp decrease in abilities and poor academic performance in schoolchildren, and in advanced cases - to serious mental illness.

The reasons for child masturbation may be the following:

1. Pinworms. Not everyone knows that worms, and especially some of their types, often cause bad habits

in children. This applies to small pinworm worms. They live in the rectum and usually crawl out onto the skin of the perineum at night, causing unbearable itching. Insomnia appears, the child becomes nervous and scratches the skin in this area. In girls, itching becomes even more common as pinworms crawl onto the external genital area. Scratching caused by itching in the perineum and genital area leads to masturbation. That is why it is absolutely necessary to maintain health and to prevent the occurrence of this bad habit carefully treat helminthic diseases. In addition to the use of anthelmintic treatment, great importance

has strict adherence to child hygiene. Clean hands, neatly trimmed nails, changing panties daily, boiling them and ironing them with a hot iron, washing the child before changing panties are no less important than the treatment prescribed by the doctor. when he is left to his own devices and unsupervised. One example is indicative: a child under 3 years old was left alone unattended in a room where he was locked. Subsequently, when circumstances changed and the child was placed in Better conditions, noticed that he was hiding, looking for privacy. It turned out that the child was masturbating. It will take a lot of patience and tact to overcome a bad habit.

3. Masturbation often occurs in children doomed to stay in bed for a long time(bed rest) with relatively good or just good general condition. This especially applies to children suffering from certain heart diseases, such as rheumatic heart disease, when they often keep the child in bed for a long time without sufficient reason, without even trying to occupy him with anything. Some parents unnecessarily pamper their children, keeping them in bed beyond measure when this is not indicated by a doctor: after the flu, sore throat, runny nose.

However, you should also not go to the other extreme and not put the baby down when it is necessary in the interests of his health. While the child is in bed, watch him as carefully as we are used to doing with children on the street, in the park, in public places.

Advice for parents: what to do, how to deal with child masturbation, treatment

1. To prevent the appearance child masturbation, ensure compliance correct mode in general, and especially your sleep schedule - go to bed strictly and always at the same time.
2. Before bedtime, allow children only quiet games and walks in the fresh air; Noisy games and conversations, long reading, shows, including television, are unacceptable.
3. Have dinner two hours before bedtime, without spicy foods, strong tea, strong coffee.
4. Empty your bladder before going to bed.
5. Sleep on a hard bed in a well-ventilated room.
6. Make a long nightgown.
7. When falling asleep, make sure that your child's hands are on top of the blanket or under his head.
8. Make sure that in the morning the child does not lie in bed for a long time, but, upon waking up, gets up quickly. Always wake him up at the same time.
9. After getting up, do morning exercises (even for little ones), then water procedures (rubbing or dousing). Cold water procedures, like all hardening activities, play a huge role in the prevention and treatment of childhood masturbation.
10. For children suffering from masturbation, cancel daytime naps and replace them with a walk in the air. Walking and playing outdoors is beneficial for all children, especially those suffering from masturbation. Take them for a walk in any weather.
11. If the parents of a child suffering from masturbation teach him to do daily physical exercise, active games in the air, and older children to engage in sports, then in this way you can successfully overcome this habit. A healthy, cheerful, seasoned child will not engage in masturbation.
12. A very important link in prevention and treatment of childhood masturbation- labor. Accustom your child to help around the house, achieve purposeful, properly organized work on preparing homework, always carried out at the same time. Keep such a child busy, give him various tasks (draw, cut, make something, and so on).
13. Watch your speech, show restraint in conversations, do not say in the presence of a child what he is not supposed to know.
14. Be delicate, tactful and modest in your intimate relationships so that the child does not witness what he should not observe and which, if not understood, can leave a traumatic mark on his child's psyche.
15. Fighting masturbation, don't humiliate baby, don't yell at him or punish him.
16. Don't sew for children visiting kindergarten, special clothing (for example, special tying panties, etc.). Such constant evidence of his vice leads to humiliating conversations and ridicule, which will further alienate the child from his peers. But the company of children, a team, joint games and activities that are useful to engage such a child with are one of the means of treating him.

Based on materials from the magazine “Family and School”, 1962

It is probably difficult to find a mother who would say that her child, wittingly or unwittingly, did not engage in masturbation. Most likely, someone might not have noticed. But this is unrealistic - not to pay attention to, accompanied by certain body movements in children. This means that my mother saw it, but did not attach any importance to it. Or maybe she was embarrassed to take the child to a specialist. Or she didn’t want to touch the topic at all, saying that it would outgrow it and go away on its own...

Is such an oversight by a parent dangerous? They will now begin to calm us down from everywhere. Like, no, it’s not dangerous, it’s a natural process. And in general, it often happens to young children, because the phenomenon is common and harmless. What about doctors? Don't panic...

But, have mercy, now, in childhood, this is a case, and with the correct behavior of parents, you can get rid of the misfortune. Although, given our busy schedule, this is doubtful. Well, what about adolescence and in adult life? A harmful pathology, which we call a habit, will develop into neurosis and radically change a person. It ruins his life and negatively affects his psyche and physiology.

What to do if you notice that your child engages in handjob? What are reasons for the development of masturbation in children? Is it possible to somehow stop this process?

About masturbation in children

Yes, before you start talking about the reasons for the development of masturbation in children, etc., you need to know what kind of animal this is.

In short, we are talking about artificial irritation of the genitals for pleasure.

At what age do children start masturbating?

This is terrible, but, as practice shows, there is no age for children's masturbation. Some attentive mothers paid attention to the fact that their babies began to engage in it in the first year of life, almost from three to four months...

What does child masturbation look like?

There are enough classic manifestations of child masturbation. And one of them, as we have already noted, is artificial irritation of the genitals. But to find out whether your child suffers from this scourge, you need to watch him. Here are signs that may indicate that a child is masturbating:

1. the baby regularly rubs one leg against another, crossing them and throwing them one on top of the other, blushing and groaning at the same time;
2. can sway in concentration with a distant gaze, while rubbing actively and for a long time against the surface;
3. a slightly older child, getting to know his body, can regularly touch his genitals with his hands;
4. babies caress their entire bodies and kiss their mother, touching their genitals at these moments.

Causes of masturbation in children

There are many of them, and every attentive mother will add to the list of typical (physiological, psychological and spiritual) reasons. But let's focus on the key ones.

1. Curiosity. Yes, children learn about themselves. And this is natural when they touch everything that comes to their hand, but this interest should not turn into a habit.
2. Poor hygiene. Yes, baby can produce different actions in response to persistent itching in the genitals.
3. The child wants to go to the toilet. This includes constipation and urinary retention. As a result, the tension caused by the rush of blood to the genitals spreads to the genitals, and children begin to look for a way to discharge.
4. Allergy. It can also make the child want to put his hands in his panties again.
5. Too tight swaddling or undersized underwear.
6. Bad potty training experience. The child was punished when he endured and peed.
7. Obsessive neurosis. It can be caused by the divorce of parents, a long separation from mom, and similar moments associated with experiences.
8. Imitation. Having seen how adults engage in handjobs, children who are capable of imitation can try it out of interest and then constantly show it to their organs.
9. Lack of parental attention. As a rule, we are talking about large and conflicting families. Children, feeling a lack of love for them, feeling unnecessary, drown out their grievances by constantly keeping their hands in their pants.
10. Cruel punishment. Especially if children are punished regularly and for a long time, they defend themselves with onanistic games, discharging nervous tension. Children at such moments can involuntarily become sexually aroused.
11. Force feeding. Surprised? Meanwhile, by forcing your child to eat when he doesn’t want to, you unwittingly activate the genital zones, which are associated with the mucous membranes of the lips and mouth.
12. and the non-church life of parents. No comments…

Your reaction to manifestations of child masturbation

They say that childhood is not a diagnosis. Perhaps at a certain age - yes. But, if you notice that your child regularly experiences certain sensations with certain stimulation, take action. This is how parents should act in such moments.

• There is no need to panic, react violently to what you see, draw the child’s attention to the problem, or hit him. After all, children are pure and innocent. Therefore, the main thing here is tact and restraint, which will help to switch their attention to something else and talk to them later. In general, excessive attention to the situation will have the opposite effect.
• There is no need to intimidate if you catch your son or daughter in the act - he is already ashamed, and in general, threats are worse than masturbation itself. Naturally, don’t even think about hitting and punishing. On the contrary, you need to reassure, reassure that you still love.
• Do not focus the child’s attention on what happened, divert the conversation to the side (it is now useless), negating the growing interest in the habit of keeping your hands in your pants - a lot depends on your reaction.
• Answer his questions, even the most ridiculous ones, in your opinion.
• Having told a child who is able to understand this how harmful this habit is, clarify how vile this sin is before the Lord and that it must be confessed and bear the fruits of repentance.

Having understood the situation, do not let it take its course - it will not resolve on its own. Yes, the best way Your love and attention, as well as an action plan, will help you get through this period of physiological masturbation without any problems.

What to do

So, you understand that your child is not out of trouble. What to do? Much depends on age. After all, some recommendations will be given to a baby who is from three months to three years old, others - to a boy or girl who is already 6-7 years old and beyond. Schematically, your actions might look something like this.

• First of all, understand the reasons -. And, as we know, there are a lot of them, and in each case there is different advice. In short, you just need to carefully read the chapter above about the reasons for the development of masturbation in children.
• Second, immediately rule out causes of stimulation of the genital organs related to diseases and age, among others. For example, pay attention more often, show your love, do not punish harshly, monitor your health and natural functions, buy comfortable underwear, do not allow the child to see intimate scenes, sleep for a long time or fall asleep, etc.
• Explain to your child in accessible language that what he is doing is ugly and harmful. Older children can be told about the physiological processes that cause itching (for example, the secretion of smegma (lubricant).
• When showing affection to your child, try not to overstep your boundaries so that he doesn’t get excited.
• Find ways to encourage your child to switch his activity in a good direction. This could be playing sports or participating in hobby groups, outdoor games, communicating with peers, talking about interesting topics, going to the theater together, etc.
• If these measures do not help, and the child continues his studies, you need to take him to the clinic - the pediatrician will give a referral to to the right specialist(this could be a psychologist, a neurologist, a specialized doctor, etc.).
• It is important to organize church life for a child so that, as he grows older, he can confess and bear the fruits of repentance.

So, the main thing in this problem is our, parental, shortcomings. And, if we deal with them in time, our children will grow up without bad habits and be successful in this life.