Behavior of men and women in relationships. Female psychology and its secrets, what you need to know about the psychology of women. How the image of male behavior is manifested.

03.12.2021

Peculiarities of behavior of men and women in different circumstances, for example, in conflicts and frustrating situations, about what strategies men and women have for overcoming difficult life situations, what methods of psychological defense are used by both, what are the attitudes of men and women towards relationships with the outside world, how men and women distribute their time budget, what role does fashion play in the lives of men and women, what addictions are typical for representatives of both sexes which of them is more likely to exhibit deviant and criminal behavior.

Behavior of men and women in conflict and frustrating situations. Women cope worse with emotional problems and difficulties that arise, and experience family and personal conflicts more strongly.

S. Nolen-Hoksma shows that women, when feeling depressed, tend to think about possible reasons your condition. This “think it through” response leads to an obsessive focus on the problem and increases a woman's vulnerability to the stressor. Men, on the contrary, try to isolate themselves from depressive emotions by concentrating on something else, for example, doing physical activity, in order to defuse the negative tension that has arisen.

I.V. Groshev also revealed that men and women resolve differently conflict situations arising in the family and home circle. Women show more tolerance and desire for a compromise reconciliation of interests. Men in this situation more often resort to “strong” expressions and curses, while women are more likely to cry.

M.A. Kruglova, studying behavioral strategies for psychological defense, found that in women the gap between the three types of strategy (avoidance, aggression and peacefulness) is minimal, while in men either avoidance (the desire to get away from conflict) or aggression is observed . Their love of peace is much less pronounced than that of women.

According to I.M. Nikolskaya, who compared the coping strategies of boys and girls in grades 1-5 in difficult and unpleasant situations, boys are 2 times more likely than girls to turn to the strategy “I fight, I’m fighting” and 1 times more often than girls. 5 times more often - to the “teasing someone” strategy. Thus, these data confirm that boys are more likely to resort to strategies associated with the manifestation of aggression. Girls are significantly more likely than boys to use the strategies “hug, press, stroke”, “cry, feel sad”. This indicates their O a greater need for close affection, for emotional release through tears and pity for oneself and others, to the difficulties of self-disclosure.

Somewhat different data were obtained by Yu. M. Chuikova: when overcoming conflicts, competition and especially compromise are more pronounced in men than in women, while adaptation and cooperation are more pronounced in women. The avoidance strategy, according to her data, was expressed equally in men and women.

During a quarrel, as I.V. Groshev notes, women more often remember old sins and mistakes made by their spouse in the past. Men stick more to the problem that caused the quarrel.

When resolving conflicts, women are more oriented towards the opinions of others, which is explained, according to I.V. Groshev, by their greater conformity. Hence, when resolving a conflict with the participation of women, the role of a mediator is great. Therefore, writes R. A. Berezovskaya, women more often turn to other people, psychologists, doctors, psychotherapists for help, trying to relieve mental stress through conversation. At the same time, as shown by I.V. Groshev, men choose an intermediary based on his business and status parameters, and women attach importance to his appearance. I. M. Nikolskaya notes that women in difficult times more need not only some real significant figure, but also an “imaginary” one (including God) in order to rely on her strength and power and enter into a relationship with her. different shapes verbal and non-verbal interaction. For example, girls, as noted by I.M. Nikolskaya, often use techniques such as “talking to myself,” “praying.” This explains, it seems to me, a large religiosity women, as well as men with a pronounced feminine personality profile. L. Francis and P. Pearsons found, for example, that men who regularly attend church exhibit a “feminine” personality profile much more often than other men, and came to the conclusion that men’s religiosity is more harmoniously combined with a “feminine worldview.”

Men are always right and women are never wrong. Alsatian proverb

Sex differences in industrial conflicts, according to I.V. Groshev, are expressed in the following. Men are more predisposed to conflicts related directly to labor activity. Women tend to experience a higher frequency of conflicts related to their personal needs. According to R. A. Berezovskaya, men are significantly more likely to use strategies such as situation analysis and systematization of working time.

A study of the types and direction of frustration in groups of men and women by I. A. Yurov showed that in the frequency of manifestation of types of reactions ( O-D- with fixation on an obstacle, N-P- with a focus on meeting needs, E-D- with a fixation on self-defense) there are no special differences, and in terms of the direction of reactions in men the option is somewhat more common E(external accusatory reactions), and for women - the option M(non-accusatory reactions).

Average values of types and directions of frustration in men and women, percentage of cases


Subjects	Reaction type	Direction of reaction
	*O-D*	*E-D*	*N-P*	E	I	M

In a socially frustrating situation, women are more likely to have an intrapunitive reaction, associated with self-blame.

Gender differences in the severity of types of psychological defense. According to E.F. Rybalko and T.V. Tulupyeva, there are significant differences between boys and girls in the severity of certain types of psychological defense.

Average severity various types psychological protection in adolescence(as a percentage of the maximum possible)


Type of protection	Boys	Girls
Projection
Rationalization
Negation
Compensation
crowding out
Regression
Reactive education
Substitution
General level

In girls, the protective mechanism of the type compensation, reactive formation, regression and projection is more pronounced, in boys - repression and denial. Since reactive education implies the replacement of a negative impulse or feeling with a socially approved one, it can be assumed that girls more often hide the motive of their own behavior from themselves. For boys, this type of defense is of the least importance, while for girls, repression is in last place as a method of defense.

M.D. Petrash on adults (ambulance workers) revealed largely similar facts. Women more often than men prefer such protective mechanisms as projection, regression, reactive formation, and men more often than women prefer repression and intellectualization

"When a Martian is upset, he will never say what is bothering him. He will never burden another Martian with his problems, unless friendly help is needed. Instead, he becomes very quiet and withdraws into himself to think about his problem and find a solution.

If he cannot find a solution, he tries to forget about the problem by reading a newspaper or playing some game. By stopping to think about the problem, he can gradually relax. And if the stress is very severe, then the Martian needs to do something serious. For example, drive a car, take part in a competition, or go mountain climbing.

An upset or depressed Venusian, in order to feel relief, finds someone she trusts and talks about her problem in great detail. When a woman shares her overwhelming feelings, she feels better. The longer and more emotionally they (women) talk, the better they feel. This is how women act, and expecting something different from them simply means not recognizing that they are women... While a man in a stressful situation focuses on one problem and forgets about everything else, a woman tends to overload herself with all problems at once... Having discussed one problem, she'll stop for a minute and then move on to the next one. In this way, a woman prolongs the conversation about problems, anxieties, disappointments and difficulties.

Moreover, all this is not logically connected and is told absolutely randomly. If a woman feels that she is not understood, she becomes even more upset - after all, another one has been added to her problems.

Men immediately start offering solutions when women talk about their business. When a woman innocently shares her sorrows with a man or talks heatedly about the problems of the day, a man mistakenly perceives this as a need for advice from a competent person. He puts on his Mr. Know-It-All hat and begins to give advice, and this is a way of... sincerely wanting to help.

However, she is still upset - and it is very difficult for the man to listen to her, because the solution he proposed is rejected and he feels useless. He doesn’t even imagine that he can provide support simply with interest and sympathy. He doesn't know that on Venus, talking about problems is not a request for advice."

Strategies for achieving the goal. A. Montuori notes that a man’s attitude towards the world around him is characterized by assertiveness, self-confidence, and an orientation toward self-control. In order to separate from the world, it is necessary to manipulate someone from the environment, thus making sure of one’s independence. Men are more task-focused, which is why the masculine style is described as analytical and manipulative. Male psychology is centered around dominant, submissive rituals and hierarchies, where there is always a winner and a loser. The man is convinced that standing on top of the situation is necessary condition for survival. This attitude does not recognize the alternative partner style inherent in female psychology.

These differences in male and female psychology were noted by McClelland, who discovered that for girls, interaction and interdependence with the environment are more significant than for boys, who prefer to move forward with self-confidence, without being distracted by what is happening around them.

It is no coincidence that there is an opinion that men are more proud, than women. Here are some interesting reflections on this matter in the book by D.V. Kolesov and N.B. Selverova: “A woman may be smarter and more capable than many men and is well aware of this, but she wants (this is a psychological need) for her specific chosen one to be nevertheless, according to these signs, she is at least a little higher. In any case, no woman has anything against this, unlike a man. And if any woman is smarter than her husband, then she rather has to be smarter than she specifically strives to be. to that.

If for a man the achievement or success of another person is usually something of an outsider, not his personal success (even with the most positive assessment of this success), then a woman can experience no less satisfaction from the success of her loved one, as if it were her personal success...

As a result of this, other things being equal, the woman concedes or is inclined to concede the palm to the man, and the impression may be created that the man has real reasons for this. Therefore, it is necessary to distinguish between a situation when a woman must resolve some issue in the presence of a man or hoping for his assistance and when she is forced to act completely independently. The result of the action of a man and a woman in a similar situation will in the vast majority of cases be the same, but the behavior of a woman in both cases is different. Some men consciously use this in order to establish themselves in the idea of their own mental superiority."

Age-related changes in behavior strategies. Starting with C. Jung, some scientists have suggested that the styles of matching behavior in men and women change differently with age. Men in old age switch from an active style to a passive one. After being responsible for others, raising a family, and making decisions for most of their lives, they likely feel empowered to express the full complexity of their personality, including those traits that are considered feminine. The older they get, the more they move from active to passive style, called by D. Gutmann “magical power”; in this style, they fend off reality's attacks using a variety of techniques such as projection and distortion. With age, women begin to show more “masculine” traits: authority, aggressiveness and practicality.

According to A.K. Kanatov (2000), men have more flexible behavior than women. True, with age this difference decreases.

Flexibility of behavior of men and women, points


Up to 25 years	26-40 years	41-55 years old	Over 55 years old

Strategies of behavior of men and women as buyers. As noted by I. A. Dubershtein and E. E. Linchevsky, most male buyers are characterized by the desire not to seem petty, to make a decision quickly, they attach great importance the friendliness of the seller and feel obligated if they received assistance in choosing a product. Women take longer to choose, object more often, have a better understanding of fashion than men, so they are more difficult to serve.

Perhaps b O The greater complaisance of men in the role of buyers evokes a response from sellers and makes them also more flexible in bargaining with men rather than with women. For example, J. Ayres found that cars were sold cheaper by 90 dealers to men than to women.

The woman is usually in charge family budget and much more freely than a man, she spends money not only on what she has planned in advance, but also on goods the purchase of which was not part of her immediate plans.

According to British psychologists, having to stand in line makes most men furious. When buying something, men mainly pay attention to its practicality and convenience, while women pay attention to its style and fashionability.

Do people seem alike regardless of gender? This is far from true. Male psychology is a different story! Representatives of the stronger sex often play by their own rules, pursuing a strategy that is sometimes incomprehensible to them. Women should be careful about understanding guys. The more correctly and competently the girl behaves, the more pleasant and harmonious the relationship of the future couple will be.

Life without mistakes is impossible. Representatives of the stronger sex for the most part do not admit flaws. The man will apologize if he is wrong in front of the lady, however, he will gladly shift all the blame for other, albeit minor, cases. It turns out that it is not only difficult to tell the truth, but also to admit it. Anyone becomes to blame - from neighbors to colleagues or casual acquaintances.

The main intention is to be good guy, meet all expectations, even if he is to blame. At such moments, you should not point out to a man his mistakes and shortcomings, otherwise he will live up to your worst expectations.

The psychology of men is built in such a way as not to admit that they are wrong. Therefore, a woman can insist on her own or assess the situation from his point of view. The second option will allow you to remain happy by accepting your partner’s truth, as a result of which he will strive to realize his hopes.

Psychology of men in love

Mostly guys don't meet girls for Poe's sake. at least, they do not prioritize them initially. Men are quite happy with regular meetings without obligations. Additional confirmation of this is that one hears “I want to get married” much more often than “I want to get married.”

Active attempts to put a stamp in the passport about marriage are perceived by the majority of the stronger sex as aggression in terms of restricting personal freedom. For many men, individual space is considered sacred. Only after some time do they understand the depth of feelings and sensations, letting their beloved into their soul and heart.

Experts advise exploring male territory smoothly, slowly, like a cat on soft paws. Any strong statement or active demonstration of rights to territory acts as a stop signal. This applies not only to “casual female acquaintances,” but also to those to whom the guy is accustomed. To attract your chosen one, you should “spud” the selected object carefully, with caution. It will not be possible to take such a fortress by storm.

Release of "dust"

The psychology of guys in relationships with girls is often determined by boasting, but everyone does it in their own way. A beautiful wife becomes a source of pride, new car, the number of books read, and the like. Ladies' admiration for men becomes a kind of incentive to perform actions. They feel special and wings grow behind their backs. A simple guy, ready to cope with any problem.

Male psychology in relation to admiration from the female sex is based on subconscious level. That is, any representative of the stronger sex dreams of surprising a girl. This need manifests itself in the desire to “show off” and in competition with colleagues or friends. The “alpha male” loves to brag about his achievements and waits for approval from the representatives of the better half of humanity. In this, men are similar to children. Therefore, you should not “cut at the root” your fantasy and sense of greatness. No matter how unattainable a dream may seem, it can come true if you sincerely believe.

Straightforwardness

Men's psychology in love and relationships differs from women's perception. Ladies get satisfaction from the communication process itself. For guys, this is a way to get some information. A man perceives what he hears as it is. Veiled phrases and complex hints are not the best option reach the hearts of the stronger sex. The simpler and more straightforward the phrase is, the higher the likelihood of mutual understanding.

The chosen one expects from her gentleman that he will guess about her desires, almost reading her thoughts. However, confusing hints and florid phrases only complicate the situation; it is difficult for a man to understand what they really want from him? Such misunderstandings often lead to female disappointment. In male psychology, the response is manifested by irritation and temper. Guys feel dissatisfied, but don’t understand why they can’t directly express their desire?

The logical mindset of men is built in such a way as to speak clearly and concisely, and to receive specific answers to questions. Ladies who explain their own needs as clearly as possible simplify the task not only for the chosen one, but also for themselves.

Emotional disguise

Built on containing emotions. In a harsh world, a real hero must be able to “keep his mark” without spilling his feelings on others. A guy who has problems at work is an extremely sullen and withdrawn creature. All he needs at this moment is peace and solitude. Well, he doesn’t want to reveal his soul to his household, including his beloved wife.

At such moments, ladies come up with all sorts of bad reasons for themselves. Having tuned in to the worst case scenario, the girls become offended and withdraw into themselves. As a result, the man has an additional problem. The second version of the development of events is interrogation with bias. The woman tries by any means to find out what caused the sadness and sadness of her chosen one.

In the psychology of men, there is a certain lever that is triggered by a reaction to insult, betrayal or other strong emotion, only after digesting and perceiving an unpleasant situation. In this case, the ladies just have to endure, and then receive a well-deserved reward in the form of a cheerful person, ready to communicate.

Herd instinct

The psychology of guys is formed on the basis of the herd instinct. The desire to unite in companies is quite normal. The main signs of the unification of representatives of the stronger sex into groups:

If a woman is not satisfied with the long absence of her chosen one nearby, she can simply infiltrate his surroundings based on her interests. An alternative way out of the situation is a normal perception of the absences of a loved one, which makes it possible to calmly go about your business. To properly enter the company of a loved one, you should remember some settings:

Recognize that your chosen one has an excellent team.
To love the place where comrades gather.
Find within yourself the opportunity and desire to get to know your loved one’s surroundings.
Accept the fact that his friends are now yours.

Dying Swan Syndrome

Sometimes one should be very sensitive to male psychology. As life experience shows, there is no creature more defenseless and requiring attention than a sick representative of the stronger sex. This comes from childhood, when a boy is taught that if he is sick, the planet revolves around him. Everyone looks after the person, allows a lot and babysits him.

Such moments are suitable for showing off your best side. Preparation chicken broth, tea with jam or just sweet Nothing capable of breathing maximum life and health into a “dying swan”. And if you spice up the situation with a piquant outfit or an interesting film, the payoff won’t take long to arrive. Men's psychology is different from women's, but everything is in the hands of the couple. If you make concessions and understand your partner, happiness will not take long to arrive.

How to understand a man?

Guys set a goal for themselves - to assert themselves at any cost. The psychological barrier depends on the tasks set and the level of relationships at the professional level. Problems at work or difficulties at work often detract from the clarification of personal or family relationships. A representative of the stronger sex tries by any means to achieve what he wants; the correct behavior of a woman motivates him more than any other factors. The support of a lady is like air, without which it is impossible to breathe and assert oneself in this life.

Advice for girls who want to understand male psychology:

don't meddle in your own affairs young man unless he asks for it;
do not make harsh statements criticizing his actions, any support will be assessed positively, as opposed to reproaches and “attacks”;
support your partner in difficult situations;
never show your superiority in front of your husband or boyfriend.

Smile more often and listen to the man carefully.
Laugh at jokes and let your partner talk about himself.
You share the guy’s interests, don’t be afraid of him, give him gifts.
Be mysterious, do not forget to praise your chosen one.
What do men love in women? Psychology shows that unobtrusiveness, control over emotions, and gratitude are the main criteria for success.
Don't impose, be different.
You shouldn’t test your patience by waiting, or drag your loved one to the shops.
Be positive, use not only business style in your clothes.
Swear less, work on your makeup,
Take the first step.
Work on your gait.
Be helpful and let him respond in kind.
Don’t often think about the past, don’t focus on the guy’s mistakes.
Get involved in intellectual processes, do not put yourself above him.
Show sincerity combined with some intrigue.

Love or sex?

The psychology of men in relationships with girls is determined by dominance intimate relationships. Love is also important for guys, but it does not come first, especially after a short-term acquaintance. This behavior is due to the fact that instincts take over, polygamy exceeds the most intimate and positive intentions, even among intelligent and modest representatives of the stronger sex. The problem is expressed in the desire for spontaneous sex or dominance of a woman. At the same time, the spiritual part and the sexual call are not always connected into one whole.

Male psychology in love: how to understand it? Firstly, guys in relationships need the opportunity to take care of their crush and receive a similar response from her. Secondly, a man values devotion, mutual affection, physical and moral understanding.

Age crises

A person experiences several age-related stressful situations (crises) during his life. The psychology of guys adapts to such a transformation “with the flow”, putting up with what is happening, or begins a new round, developing personal qualities. A lady must understand the changeable nature of a man. Life is not a smooth “silk” road; it often “gets you in the teeth” and on your nerves. Nevertheless, all peak changes in the partner’s behavior are predictable and understandable.

Male psychology for women is not as scary as it seems. The representative of the stronger sex is full of contradictions and difficulties. He is more resilient and stronger than the girl, however, his energy is exhausted faster. Guys are also more susceptible to diseases and have a harder time surviving them. All these factors, coupled with bad habits and stress shorten life. According to statistics, representatives of the stronger sex live 10–15 years less than women.

Features of the psychology of a man who is in love:

he will not offend the lady, do something to spite her;
the partner looks for exclusively positive moments in the chosen one and her environment;
the most frequent communication with your loved one in person or through calls and messages is practiced;
are not just instinctive in nature, but are imbued with love, respect, understanding;
they pick up their beloved girl from work, kiss her in the morning, bring her coffee in bed, and show other signs of attention;
lovers require increased attention to their own person.

What should women do?

A male psychologist will tell any girl (regardless of her age) that a partner requires appropriate treatment, even if he does not always deserve it. Not all representatives of the stronger sex are only interested in sex. Many of them are more vulnerable than their other halves and react painfully to betrayal and deception. However, this is not a reason to humiliate your lover. Guys want to feel exclusive, becoming an object of adoration or admiration for their crush. Often they value not the strong qualities of the chosen one, but the manifestation of maternal care and affection.

A woman’s behavior largely depends on the cultural, emotional and physical perception of her beloved. Each person requires a personal approach, and a loving young lady can find it easily. Respect, affection, expression of feelings, odes and poems - conquer not only women's hearts, but also the souls of men. It is not necessary to pay attention to the standards accepted in society. Sometimes a sweet smile, sexy lingerie or shared memories can do the impossible.

How to proceed?

A male psychologist does not always inspire confidence among the fairer sex. As experts note, guys understand more clearly and adequately what they want from a relationship with their chosen one. And ladies don’t always define their desires. At the same time, they often suspect their partner of intrigue or betrayal.

To get rid of obsessive thoughts that interfere with harmoniously building relationships, we recommend contacting a specialist, for example, psychologist-hypnologist Nikita Valerievich Baturin, who deals with various psychological problems.

Security plays an important role in a man's needs. He worries not so much about himself as about his wife, children, and loved ones. Realization of the function of savior and protector is one of the main ones in the harsh male world.

Another piece of advice for ladies:

do not be too picky and sarcastic;
find common points of contact with your chosen one;
make him feel like a hero;
listen and understand him;
do not show your leadership clearly;
listen to each other.

A significant role in psychology for men is played by the possibility of maintaining not only personal self-esteem, but also the respect of others. Once you lose your favorite job, family or other motivating factor, the strongest “macho” sometimes becomes a lost and weak-willed creature. A blow to pride or sexual potential is one of the most common reasons that takes men out of their usual “rut” of comfort and success.

What's the result?

If ladies tend to love and care for their neighbors, men need to conquer certain horizons without internally being deprived of freedom. Scandals and quarrels between couples cannot be ruled out. The main thing is to understand each other and know what to do in a given situation. Many psychotherapists note that temperament, the nature of the relationship between a woman and a man depends on upbringing. This is especially true for incomprehensible situations between mother and son. Most grievances and misunderstandings develop in childhood and also during puberty.

Introduction

psychological gender fashion

Each person is unique and inimitable. There are no two identical stones in the world, much less people. But with all human diversity, there are differences that immediately catch the eye - the differences between a man and a woman. And they are not only in external distinctive features floor. It turns out that they are of the same name internal organs in men and women they act somewhat differently, they have different metabolic rates, breathing and heart rates, blood composition, etc.

Let’s say right away that we are working we'll talk about certain “average” “typical” men and women. The diversity of both is such that there are women who have more masculine traits than another man. There will also be men who have greater “feminine” qualities than a certain woman. But these are exceptions, which, as they say, only confirm the existence of the rule. Therefore, throughout the rest of the text, by the word “man” or “woman” we will understand a certain “typical” representative of one’s gender.

Behavior of men and women in conflict situations

Women cope worse with emotional problems and difficulties that arise, and experience family and personal conflicts more strongly

Research by S. Nolen-Hoksma (1990) shows that women, when feeling depressed, tend to think about the possible causes of their condition. This overthinking response leads to an obsessive focus on the problem and increases a woman's vulnerability to the stressor. Men, on the contrary, try to isolate themselves from depressive emotions by concentrating on something else.

I.V. Groshev (1996) also revealed that men and women resolve conflict situations that arise in the family and home circle differently. Women show more tolerance and desire for a compromise reconciliation of interests. Men in this situation more often resort to “strong” expressions and curses, while women are more likely to cry.

M.A. Kruglova (1999), studying behavioral strategies for psychological defense, found that in women the gap between the three types of strategy (avoidance, aggression and peacefulness) is minimal, while in men either avoidance (the desire to get away from the conflict) or aggression is observed. Their love of peace is much less pronounced than that of women.

According to I.M. Nikolskaya (2001), who compared the coping strategies of boys and girls in grades 1–5 in difficult and unpleasant situations, boys are 2 times more likely than girls to turn to the strategy “I fight, I’m fighting” and 1.5 times more often - to the “teasing someone” strategy. Thus, these data confirm that boys are more likely to resort to strategies associated with the manifestation of aggression. Girls are significantly more likely than boys to use the strategies “hug, press, stroke”, “cry, feel sad”. This indicates their great need for close affection, emotional release through tears and pity for themselves and others, and difficulties in self-disclosure.

Somewhat different data were obtained by Yu.M. Chuikova (2001): when overcoming conflicts, competition and especially compromise are more pronounced in men than in women, while adaptation and cooperation are more pronounced in women. The avoidance strategy, according to her data, was expressed equally in men and women.

During the quarrel, as noted by I.V. Groshev, women more often remember old sins and mistakes made by their spouse in the past. Men stick more to the problem that caused the quarrel.

When resolving conflicts, women are more guided by the opinions of others, which is explained, according to I.V. Groshev, their greater conformity. Hence, when resolving a conflict with the participation of women, the role of a mediator is great. Therefore, writes R.A. Berezovskaya, women more often turn to other people, psychologists, doctors, psychotherapists for help, trying to relieve mental stress through conversation. At the same time, as shown by I.V. Groshev, men choose an intermediary based on his business and status parameters, and women attach importance to his appearance. THEM. Nikolskaya (2001) notes that women in difficult times more need not only some real significant figure, but also an “imaginary” one (including God) in order to rely on her strength and power and enter into different relationships with her. forms of verbal and non-verbal interaction. For example, girls, as noted by I.M. Nikolskaya, often use techniques such as “talking to myself”, “praying”. This explains the great religiosity women, as well as men with a pronounced feminine personality profile. L. Francis and P. Pearsons (1993) found, for example, that regularly attending church men exhibited a “feminine” personality profile significantly more often than other men, and concluded that men’s religiosity was more harmoniously combined with a “feminine worldview” .

Sex differences in industrial conflicts, according to I.V. Groshev, are expressed as follows. Men are more predisposed to conflicts related directly to work. Women tend to experience a higher frequency of conflicts related to their personal needs. According to R.A. Berezovskaya (2001), men are significantly more likely to use strategies such as situation analysis and systematization of working time.

A formed couple goes through several stages of rapprochement, but if this does not happen, then it can be difficult for them to form a good relationship.

1. Attraction. Men are interested in appearance, and women, in turn, are interested in intelligence. To a man, a lady seems special, and he feels attracted to her and is attracted to her.

2. Uncertainty. A man manages to gain a woman’s favor, but after a while he doubts the correctness of his choice. Some distance is not far off. A time full of worries and worries is worth waiting out and not stopping courtship. A woman needs to be calm during this period.

3. The desire to be the only one. He wants to be close to the woman he loves, tries to make the relationship sensual and deep.

4. Kindred spirits. The lovers cannot imagine their lives separately; they are already quite familiar with each other. This time is characterized by stability, good relationships, there is mutual understanding and trust.

5. Engagement. The period after which marriage occurs. At this time, most couples break up, as the realization comes that everything is fine, but there is no readiness to spend life together.

Love does not love?

Men don't know how to show emotions, so you need to understand their feelings. He experiences love when:

Afraid of losing a woman. Of course, this is not one hundred percent proof of love. Behind such fear lies something else: self-love, fear of being alone, uncertainty.

He surrounds his beloved with care, feels pity, protects her and tries to make life easier. He will make it clear that from now on she is his only woman, will take upon himself the solution of financial issues and will provide everything necessary so that his beloved does not need anything. And this behavior undoubtedly indicates love, moreover, in return he receives pleasant sensations from the fact that he looks after and takes care of her, without expecting words of gratitude.

Admires his beloved. At the beginning of a relationship, a man is delighted with the qualities of a woman who amazes him with her ability to understand, to be devoted, and enchants him with her charm and beauty. It is undesirable for a man to feel that he has found a woman forever. And if she is independent and strong personality, then sometimes it’s worth pretending to be weak. Your loved one will be able to show best qualities. A woman needs this kind of behavior, even if the couple has been together for a long time.

Who is the man?

He strives to take a leading position thanks to the following qualities: determination and perseverance, aggressiveness and speed of reaction, the ability to resist failure and the desire to win. Feels proud of his assertiveness and will, but does not show it openly and freely. And yet a man is subject to bad mood, but knows how to restrain negative emotions.

It is important for men to feel independent freedom and to be an individualist with high self-esteem. They pay attention to society's assessment, but sometimes they forget to compliment their beloved. Criticism, reproaches, mention of his imperfections and past failures hurt his pride. A woman does not need to harbor a grudge for a long time; it is better to speak out and not discuss this unpleasant topic anymore.

When communicating with a woman, a man usually says what he is thinking, and if he intends to deceive, then it becomes clear. When he is satisfied with everything, he is laconic and does not think about the need to negotiate. If a problem arises, he will not sort things out, but will work on solving it. A woman may mistakenly perceive silence as indifference and indifference.

Peculiarities of behavior of men and women

Introduction

psychological gender fashion

Each person is unique and inimitable. There are no two identical stones in the world, much less people. But with all human diversity, there are differences that immediately catch the eye - the differences between a man and a woman. And they are not only in the external distinctive signs of gender. It turns out that the internal organs of the same name act somewhat differently in men and women; they have different metabolic rates, breathing and heart rates, blood composition, etc.

Let us immediately make a reservation that in this work we will talk about certain “average” “typical” men and women. The diversity of both is such that there are women who have more masculine traits than another man. There will also be men who have greater “feminine” qualities than a certain woman. But these are exceptions, which, as they say, only confirm the existence of the rule. Therefore, throughout the rest of the text, by the word “man” or “woman” we will understand a certain “typical” representative of one’s gender.

1. Behavior of men and women in conflict situations

Women cope worse with emotional problems and difficulties that arise, and experience family and personal conflicts more strongly

During the quarrel, as noted by I.V. Groshev, women more often remember old sins and mistakes made by their spouse in the past. Men stick more to the problem that caused the quarrel.

. Sex differences in the severity of types of psychological defense

According to E.F. Rybalko and T.V. Tulupieva (1999), there are significant differences between boys and girls in the severity of certain types of psychological defense.

M.D. Petrash (2001) on adults (ambulance workers) revealed largely similar facts. Women more often than men prefer such protective mechanisms as projection, regression, reactive formation, and men more often than women prefer repression and intellectualization.

3. Strategies for achieving goals

A. Montuori (1989) notes that a man’s attitude towards the world around him is characterized by assertiveness, self-confidence, and an orientation towards self-control. In order to separate from the world, it is necessary to manipulate someone from the environment, thus making sure of one’s independence. Men are more task-focused, which is why the masculine style is described as analytical and manipulative. Male psychology is centered around dominant, submissive rituals and hierarchies, where there is always a winner and a loser. The man is convinced that standing on top of the situation is a necessary condition for survival. This attitude does not recognize the alternative partner style inherent in female psychology.

These differences in male and female psychology were noted by McClelland (1975), who found that for girls, interaction and interdependence with the environment are more significant than for boys, who prefer to move forward with self-confidence, without being distracted by what is happening around them.

It is no coincidence that there is an opinion that men are more proud , than women.

4. Age-related changes in behavior strategies

Starting with C. Jung, some scientists have suggested that coping styles in men and women change differently with age. Men in old age switch from an active style to a passive one. After being responsible for others, raising a family, and making decisions for most of their lives, they likely feel empowered to express the full complexity of their personality, including those traits that are considered feminine. The older they get, the more they move from an active to a passive style, called “magical power” by D. Gutmann (1975); in this style, they fend off reality's attacks using a variety of techniques such as projection and distortion. With age, women begin to show more “masculine” traits: authority, aggressiveness and practicality. According to A.K. Kanatova (2000), men have more flexible behavior than women. True, with age this difference decreases.

5. Strategies of behavior of men and women as buyers

As noted by I.A. Duberstein and E.E. Lynchevsky (1980), most male buyers are characterized by the desire not to seem petty, to make a decision quickly, they attach great importance to the friendliness of the seller and feel obligated if they were provided with assistance in choosing a product. Women take longer to choose, object more often, have a better understanding of fashion than men, so they are more difficult to serve.

Perhaps the greater agreeableness of men as buyers evokes a response from sellers and makes them also more agreeable when bargaining with men rather than with women.

A woman usually manages the family budget and spends money much more freely than a man not only on what she has planned in advance, but also on goods the purchase of which was not part of her immediate plans.

6. Altruistic behavior and gender

S. Byrne writes that “common stereotypes that describe women as caring and compassionate lead to the idea that they should be more helpful than men, while in an analysis of social psychological research on helpfulness conducted by Eagly and Crowley (1986) , it turned out that it is men, not women, who help others more often.” The validity of this conclusion is confirmed by the work of domestic psychologists.

Study of V.V. Abramenkova's (1980) study of empathy in children aged 5-7 years showed that girls, in a situation of threat of punishment, are less likely than boys to show a humane attitude towards their peers. Girls are more concerned about their own well-being, and boys are more concerned about the well-being of their friend. However, this pattern appears only in a situation of group interaction. In a situation alone with the experimenter, everything changes. Boys are more concerned about their own well-being, while girls are more concerned about the well-being of their peers. Thus, V.V. concludes. Abramenkova, the peer group influences the humane behavior of boys and girls differently preschool age. For boys, the group catalyzes their ability to effectively identify, causes competitive passion, and mutual influence; in girls, such a catalyst is an adult (experimenter). Girls, on the other hand, are more diligent and responsible alone with the experimenter, obviously due to the fact that they have a more pronounced orientation towards the position of an adult, the desire to meet his expectations. For boys, the opinions of their peers are more important.

Study of V.V. Abramenkova (1987) studied this issue on primary and secondary schoolchildren and showed that at the turn of 9-10 years the identified relationships “turn over”, i.e. Girls turn out to be more humane towards their peers.

A. Eagly notes that the provision of assistance depends on the type of helping actions that are prescribed by gender roles. Men are more likely to show sympathy and altruism (provide help) in cases where it concerns gallant, chivalrous or heroic behavior, including saving people even at the risk of their own health, especially in the presence of other people. Women are more likely to provide help when a more accommodating, helpful form is required, when it is necessary to take care of the personal and emotional needs of others. Women spend more time caring for preschool children and elderly parents. They buy most of the greeting cards and gifts for birthdays and holidays.

Wives are more likely to report stress associated with caring for a frail spouse than husbands, although the difference is not large. R. Pruchno and N. Rash (1989) suggest that this is partly due to changes in gender roles in the family that are observed in old age. Men who become more family-oriented with age are more willing to provide such care; Women feel that they have already spent their entire lives caring for their family.

Women are more inclined to philanthropy. D. Myers (2000) cites data obtained in the USA, according to which among people who bequeathed more than $5 million to charitable purposes, there were 48% women and 35% men. Women's colleges receive very large donations from their alumni.

7. Gender and time budget

In a number sociological research conducted in our country in Soviet time, some differences were identified in the time budget of males and females. Thus, in a study by V.A. Malova (1972), conducted on secondary special education students educational institutions, it was revealed that girls spend more time than boys on studying (differences are especially noticeable when studying independently), on household needs, but less on physiological needs. As a result, girls have less free time than boys.

The structure of the weekly free time budget also differed between boys and girls. Girls spent more time on social work, traveling outside the city, listening to lectures and reports, radio broadcasts, and reading fiction, listening to gramophone records, talking with friends, and young men - doing physical education, playing chess and checkers, amateur activities, watching TV, and inactive rest.

The assessment of the actual time allocated for certain activities often does not correspond to the wishes of girls. Thus, they would most like to visit the theater in their free time and communicate with friends. Boys' desires are more consistent with the activities that they actually carry out.

8. Fashion as a specific form of behavior and gender

Fashion - this is a means of forming attraction, i.e. a special attitude towards perception, mostly emotionally positive, of one person to another. Consequently, fashion plays a positive role in interpersonal communication, primarily in shaping the attractiveness of one person to another. However, fashion has another function - it emphasizes gender identification. The social role of women is reflected in the costumes of the peoples of Western Asia (III-I millennium BC) and the Cretan-Mycenaean costume (2600-1250 BC). Suits Ancient Rome(V century BC - V century AD) emphasize majesty in a man’s suit, coquetry and beauty in a woman’s suit. In the Middle Ages, costumes reflected the asceticism of a man and the sophistication of a woman. The gallantry of a man and the splendor and affectation of a woman are manifested in the clothes of the 17th century. Although from time to time women's clothing resembled men's, and this became the subject of ridicule in cartoons.

The new position of women in the 19th century. In bourgeois society, the intensive development of women's fashion was determined, while men's clothing became increasingly stabilized.

The slight variability of women's fashion was explained by the fact that they passionately love change and always strive for novelty. In addition, they are especially willing to follow aesthetic suggestions coming from fashion magazines and presentations of new clothing collections. Women tend to listen to the opinions of others when choosing fashionable clothes. Most of them can sacrifice the comfort of their clothes in order to impress other people, while men are mainly opinion-oriented and choose clothes that are not only fashionable, but also comfortable. True, many women feel the pointlessness of constantly changing fashions, but dutifully submit to the changes, as this is necessary to maintain status. In addition, buying new clothes lifts the mood of 56% of women. For most women, the final choice of fashionable clothing is accompanied by an increase in emotional tone, the manifestation of emotions of varying quality and intensity. The psychological state of men is characterized as emotional-cognitive or restrained-reasonable.

Dynamic lifestyle and the desire for gender equality in the 20th century. determined the development of fashion trends: features of independence, determination, and adaptability to working and living conditions appear in a woman’s appearance. Women's suits more and more reminiscent of men's.

A characteristic feature of women's fashion is that it encodes certain information for men. Among women belonging to African tribes, the use of an apron was a sign that she was inviolable to a stranger. Among European peasant women, wearing a headscarf meant that the woman was married. The choice of one or another clothing and its color can emphasize the character and identification of a person with one gender or another. Thus, light colors in clothing enhance the impression of femininity and playfulness, while dark colors - masculinity and restraint. It is believed that a blue men's tie indicates the reliability of the person who chose it; the predominance of bright red color in the design of the tie reveals an ambitious and energetic man, striving for power. Dark red color is preferred by self-confident men, while light green distinguishes men who value themselves highly and have high demands on others. Men who value the comfort and warmth of the family hearth choose dark green or olive ties.

At the same time, in the personality of both sexes there are both masculine and feminine principles, which are often designated by the concepts of “yin” and “yang” borrowed from Chinese literature. Yin means delicacy, softness, tenderness, sensitivity, sophistication, fragility, charm, i.e. feminine traits; yang - stamina, determination, strength, energy, endurance, i.e. masculine traits. Yin is associated with the sophistication of the winter pattern on the window, yang with the strength of pine. The current trend of strengthening yang in women and yin in men also affects modern fashion. Masculine women often adhere to the masculine line of clothing: wearing trouser suits, shirts and jumpers, and safari-type clothing. Feminine men are prone to a romantic style of clothing; their suits are made from traditionally feminine fabrics, soft in texture and varied in color.

Some authors were inclined to see the specific reasons for this or that fashion in the clothing of men and women in the influence of erotic ideas. For example, the appearance in women high heels explained by the fact that it makes the posture special, strengthens the abs, which “youthens” the figure, makes it more sexually attractive, while the size of the legs visually decreases.

9. Sex differences in addictions

It is known that there are more alcoholics among men than among women; according to other data, there are 5 times more male alcoholics than female alcoholics. This is confirmed by international statistics: in many countries, among students different ages who have never tried alcohol, there are more girls than boys

It should, however, be taken into account that female alcoholism is growing in many countries faster than male alcoholism. So, during the 1960-1980s. in the USA, the number of alcoholic men increased by 20%, and women - by 58%, in Canada by 19% and 68%, respectively. The same trend exists in our country. Most women prone to alcoholism are unmarried and divorced. Moreover, if in men complete dependence on alcohol occurs only after 10-15 years, then in women this process proceeds much faster - the process of addiction to alcohol takes only 3-4 years, and this has more severe consequences both for the woman herself and for her. families.

The reason why women are more susceptible to the effects of alcohol lies in a protective enzyme produced by the stomach - the so-called alcohol dehydrogenase, which breaks down alcohol before it enters the bloodstream. Women produce less of this enzyme. Therefore, when taking the same amount of alcohol in women, it appears in the blood one third more than in men, and in drinking women Liver cirrhosis develops faster. The greater exposure of the female body to the effects of alcohol is also explained by the smaller body size and smaller volumes in which the alcohol consumed is distributed, since women's bodies contain comparatively more fat and less water.

Men drink more because of their everyday promiscuity (“what kind of man is he if he doesn’t drink”), while women have relatively common cause alcoholism is loneliness, unsettled life, loss of loved ones. Women are more busy than men. As a result, “doing nothing” predisposes men to fill the “emotional vacuum” with the help of strong drinks. Traditions also matter, standards of attitude towards drinking alcohol that are different for men and women, dating back to ancient centuries.

There are also more men who smoke than women around the world, but the ratio between them varies quite widely.

In our country, smoking among women was not common for a long time. Unfortunately, emancipation had its say here too; Smoking is especially common among girls.

According to A.G. Stojko (1958), males begin to smoke 3-4 years earlier than females. The former most often start smoking at the age of 12-18, and especially at the age of 16, the latter - at the age of 15-22, and especially at the age of 18.

Male and female drug addicts are in a ratio of 2:1, and according to some reports even 10:1.

10. Aggressive behavior and gender

Studies of toddlers and preschool-aged children using teacher feedback or direct observation show that boys exhibit more anger, aggression, destructiveness, and pugnacity than girls. In our time, the trend of boys being more physically aggressive continues to persist. Thus, among those convicted of child abuse, the number of men exceeds the number of women by 4 times.

According to V.S. Savina (2001), boys 9-10 years old show more aggressiveness than girls of the same age, and in the form of both physical and verbal aggression. When identifying indirect verbal aggression, the picture changes somewhat. As shown by P.A. Kovalev (1996), males are predominantly prone to direct and indirect physical aggression (fighting), as well as direct verbal, and females - to indirect verbal aggression (gossiping).

These differences are likely due to several reasons. Firstly, as Björkvist et al. note, women are physically weaker, so there is no point in using direct physical aggression (although, on the other hand, who is stopping them from using it in conflicts with members of their own sex?). Secondly, the use of direct physical and partly direct verbal aggression, according to A. Igli (1987), does not fit into the image of a woman as a gentle, soft, meek, responsive creature. Women feel embarrassed about showing aggression in public.

In the study by Zh.Yu. Dreeva (2000) revealed that computer games with elements of aggression cause a greater increase in indicators of irritation and verbal aggression in boys than in girls.

There are gender differences in attitudes towards aggression . As R. Baron and D. Richardson (1998) write, citing a number of authors, women, unlike men, consider the tendency to dominate in their possible spouse to be a very attractive trait. Men tend to experience less guilt and anxiety after aggressive behavior. Women, on the other hand, are concerned about what aggression can mean for themselves. Having shown aggression, they are more likely to react to it with feelings of guilt and fear. So, a mother, having beaten her child in anger, can then cry with him.

The differences between men and women in the use of direct physical aggression are explained by different levels of testosterone in both, since the connection between aggressive behavior and high concentration this male sex hormone, including in animal experiments, although a number of studies deny such a connection.

11. Antisocial behavior and gender

Antisocial behavior is more often observed in males than in females, although quantitative data differ somewhat among different authors.

Thus, according to some psychologists, the ratio of boys to girls with behavior problems is 4:1. According to other data, boys are 3 times more likely than girls to exhibit deviant behavior However, in girls, delinquency is found in a much more acute form. A study by McFarlane et al (1954) found that boys were more deceitful and more likely to steal.

J. Witkin (1996) provides comparative data on offenses committed by adolescents of both sexes. Boys commit thefts (including night burglaries) 10 times more often than girls, and robbery - 5 times more often. They are 7 times more likely than girls to steal cars, 10 times more likely to commit arson, 4 times more likely to be arrested for fighting in the street, 10 times more likely to commit crimes in alcohol intoxication.

This state of affairs is explained by the fact that boys have more opportunities for “night behavior”, since they are given greater independence and freedom of movement than girls; boys may try to cope with depression by acting wildly and taking risks, while girls cope with depression differently; boys may question the authority of the police, enter into symbolic confrontation with their own fathers, experiencing alienation from them at this age; boys strive for violence due to the assimilation of a “masculine” type of behavior, borrowing it from books, films and television programs.

According to American statistics, the number of men serving sentences in prisons and correctional institutions is equal to the same number of women as 25:1. However, when considering the number of arrests, this ratio dropped to 19:1, indicating a more lenient attitude of judges towards women.

Crimes involving murder and threats or attempted violence are also more often committed by men. This is associated with a greater tendency of men to engage in direct physical aggression.

However, female crime is growing faster than male crime. In addition, as L. Shevchenko (1999) notes, it is qualitatively new. Often a woman not only leads a criminal group, but also organizes and commits the most brutal and sophisticated crimes. A woman, being part of a criminal group, plays the role of “bait” for men.

The structure of crime among women differs from that of men. This difference is explained by the greater employment of women in such areas as logistics, trade, and catering. Therefore, women are 6 times more likely than men to commit theft of state property on an especially large scale, and 2 times more often to commit theft of personal property. If intentional murders are more often committed by men, then unintentional murders (as a reaction to bullying by a husband or while intoxicated) are more often committed by women. As a rule, the victims of women are close people - husbands, cohabitants, relatives, acquaintances. Women are 5 times more likely to be prosecuted for drug distribution.

Conclusion

Are there differences in the psychology of women and men? What determines the relationship between a man and a woman? There is no doubt that the psychology of a woman and the psychology of a man are very different from each other. The question is how to find a common language between men and women, how to understand the characteristics of the psychology and behavior of the opposite sex? It is the lack of understanding of these features that causes family problems and difficulties in family relationships.

Two, a man and a woman, deciding to start a family and building family relationships First of all, they realize that family relationships are not just relationships between a man and a woman, they are relationships between different personalities, different worldviews. Reluctance to compromise, lack of understanding of the partner’s desires, selfishness or, conversely, belittling oneself, giving one’s all to one’s partner is the cause of many family problems and conflicts: cooling of relationships, betrayal of a partner, unreasonable jealousy, conflicts that ultimately lead to a break in the relationship or divorce.

Harmonious relationships between women and men are built on trust, mutual understanding, equality, absence of jealousy, and the internal personal worth of each partner.

List of used literature

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2.Groshev, I.V. Sexual dimorphism and behavior in conflict // Psychology: results and prospects: Abstracts of a scientific-practical conference. - St. Petersburg, 1996. - pp. 13-15.

3.Psychology of individual differences. Texts / Ed. Gippenreiter Yu.B., Romanova V.Ya. - M.: CheRo, 2000. - 776 p.

4.Abramenkova, V.V. Sexual differentiation and interpersonal relationships in a children's group // Questions of psychology. - 1987. - No. 5. - P. 70-78.

.Ilyin, E.P. Differential psychophysiology of men and women / E.P. Ilyin - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2007. - 544 p.

.Anuchin, V.V., Altshuler, V.B., Vlasova, I.B. Some data on the development of chronic alcoholism in women // Current issues narcology. - Dushanbe, 1984. - pp. 124-127.

.Anastasi, A. Differential psychology. Individual and group differences in behavior / A. Anastasi - M.: April Press, EKSMO-Press Publishing House, 2001. - 752 p.

.Kiloshenko, M.I. Psychology of fashion. - St. Petersburg: Rech, 2001. - 192 p.

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